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16  Mar
G da Young Mover

My friend G da Young Mover has been working hard on his new album and I just got done posting 3 free samples to his Myspace page. You can download all three MP3′s from his album State to State Hustlin for free at http://www.myspace.com/gdayoungmover.

Posted by Ian, filed under Thoughts. Date: March 16, 2009, 11:20 pm | 1 Comment »

This is from a sign somewhere. These are the religious views of many different religions in reference to shit.

Taoism: Shit happens.

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage.

Buddhism: When shit happens is it really shit?

7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturday.

Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder.

Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.

Jehovah’s Witness: Knock, Knock. “Shit happens.”

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?

Hare Krishna: Shit happens. Rama lama ding dong.

Atheism: No Shit

T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit.

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.

Posted by Ian, filed under Atheism. Date: March 16, 2009, 4:03 pm | Comments Off

While channel surfing the last few nights I’ve come across people like Peter Popoff peddling miracles. Real, genuine, certified, miracles. A lot of religious people don’t notice it but they are being marketed to like never before. What appears to them as preaching is to an outsider an obvious pitch for whatever snake oil they’re selling. Here are some of the more ridiculous miracle products either being sold or given away in the hopes for a “contribution” to help spread the good word.

Miracle Spring Water

This stuff is actually just water from a drainage ditch in New Jersey

This stuff is actually just water from a drainage ditch in New Jersey

This water will help your recieve your miracle. I don’t know how but it might help if you have a urinary tract problem. Maybe you pour it on whatever needs the miracle. I would suggest warming it to body temperature before using it as a Extenze alternative. The shrinkage will cancel out any effects from the miracle.

Miracle Green Handkerchief

Comes full of Jesus' boogers

Comes full of Jesus' boogers

I don’t know what the hell this is about. Apparently you can use this green handkerchief as a worm hole or something to connect you to your miracle. To me it looks like something cheap to make and light to ship that can possibly hook some poor old woman into sending half of her social security check to them.

Miracle Manna Bread Stuff

Mmmmm, tastes like piece of goddamn bread.

Mmmmm, tastes like piece of goddamn bread.

This is some bread that grants miracles. A piece of fucking bread. I would have at least espected a bagel. They call it manna though so WOW players will want it.

Ezekiel 4:9 Cereal

Let Jesus cleanse your colon personally.

Let Jesus cleanse your colon personally.

I saw some of this at my local grocery store. Apparently the bible is also a great cookbook. This stuff looks like it tastes like ground up leather shoes. With raisins!

Miracle Lord’s Prayer Necklace

Not only is it ugly but it's overpriced as well! Buy now!

Not only is it ugly but it's overpriced as well! Buy now!

Now this is just getting ridiculous. Using the miraculous powers of a goddam magnifying glass you can read a tiny version of the lord’s prayer. Are religious people so anti-science that magnifying glasses freak them the fuck out? It’s refracted light! Quick, throw some miracle spring water at it!

Well there’s the list so far. I’m sure there’s more but I’m too busy rocking out to this sweet Christian rock compliation I ordered off the TV.

Posted by Ian, filed under Atheism. Date: March 16, 2009, 2:53 pm | Comments Off

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